Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She said her name was "party"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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