Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize