he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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