would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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