I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
