This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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