Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
