wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
