You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
