Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
