Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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