So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
