We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the day after is always just damage control
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize