One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
