I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
