I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think your dad took our porno
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
