i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
