We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
