But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
