I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
