Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How external is "for external use only"?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
