Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
