i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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