Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
