Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
