We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
PANTIES FOUND
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