I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Sext me about skeletons
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
