Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
