it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
there's paper in my vomit.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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