I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize