i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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