worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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