Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
