so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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