I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
