It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
