i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sarcasm needs its own font
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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