There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
