All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
