Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
