We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
