You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
