we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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