She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
