Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
