i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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