I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
