I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
