It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
