And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize