Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
