He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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