I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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