But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
