PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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