Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
