the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
