I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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