i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
