I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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