Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize