You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
