I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
