dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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