Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize