This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
