So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
