1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
worst night to have a conscience
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
