Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
