were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
