dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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