you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
