Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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