Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
