Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
