OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
