There is no way he is gay with that hair.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
