i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize