I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
