When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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